My son Zac is a judge on a fun, silly, television baking competition which premiered last night. Two of the male contestants mentioned their husbands.
Here is what Zac posted today on his facebook page:
Totally overwhelmed by everyone’s support for the show. Friends, facebook friends, strangers on twitter, everyone was super positive, a rarity these days.
One response, however, stuck out to me. This time, it wasn’t someone calling me annoying, or questioning my skill set or thinning hair. This one cut deeper:
“Seems like kids should be able to watch a food show without parents having 2 explain why a man had a ‘husband.'”
Zac responded: I’m incredibly concerned by what kids are exposed to in media. The violence is more graphic, the sex is steamier, the language is more foul than ever. Parents have a right, no, and OBLIGATION to protect their children from images they find extreme or out of lines with their values. But this is not that. I could understand if the show were the Great Gay Bake Off featuring RuPaul, Ross Matthews and you BET I’d campaign to be the third judge. If the show culminated with a big gay wedding and dance party, I could see some people being wary of it.
This viewer’s objection is the simple term ‘husband’, her quotes, not mine. Let’s not go into the long battle fought for a man to legally call another man his Husband. Instead, let’s examine her discomfort with explaining it to her children. It strikes me that this is 100% the perfect time and place to have that conversation. This show has NOTHING to do with sexual orientation. These are talented bakers, baking… and two of them happen to have married to men. How easy is that?
And my comment: Yes we need to protect our children. Of course. AND, this show has no steamy sex, no graphic violence, no foul language, no extreme images. Is it time in this world to be inclusive? Is it time to see each of us as human beings? Is it time to be kind and wise and open and non-judging? Is it time to know that sometimes men marry men and women marry women and that, as one of the two gay dads said about their son in school. “Our son was one of the only kids in his class with two parents together.”
In kindergarten Zac asked, “Can boys marry boys?” I said YES, and asked why he wanted t know. He said, “because I really like Stephen.” We left it at that. My pre-school grandson once asked one of his friends’ two moms how their daughter was doing since my grandson really liked going to his dad’s office and could this girl ever get to do that? One of the moms said, “We both have offices, so she can go to two offices.” My grandson said, “WOW!!” That was his only concern. It seems to me when questions arise, we answer them in age-appropriate ways. As Zac says, “how easy is that?”
Just as children are color blind, they also accept love in its many pairings. It’s the ADULTS that are messed up and judgmental. My 10 yr old grandson goes to a progressive Montessori school in Boston where the families are of all colors and gender mixes…..and it’s good and normal to him. Gives me hope for future generations.
Great post. Thanks so much. Sex, violence and crudeness on TV has made it such that the choices of shows to watch is limited. Two loving partners is what children need. Their sexuality is immaterial. I have known many happy and successful children brought up by gay couples.
Seems like that parent has missed a really important early life lesson: You can marry whoever you love. I encourage my two young boys that their “future whoever” treat them kindly & have honesty & integrity, & that they pick someone that they can laugh with & that can support them through hard times. I don’t specify gender when I teach them what type of person they should look for. Some of the best most stable families I know have two moms or two dads; it’s a shame that this came up in a negative light when any loving family should be encouraged.
Love this post, Sue! Well said by both you and Zac!
Absolutely! How easy is that! A lot easier than all the other stuff…